Saturday, April 25, 2009
Bea Arthur/Dorothy Zbornak/Maude, the epitome of wit and sarcasm, passed away today at the age of 86 from....well, when you're 86 does it really matter?
When I found out this afternoon (via twitter because that's how information is shared these days), I was just heartbroken! This news took a rather large dump on my day. I really thought her ornery ass would outlive us all!
I broke the news to my parents separately, and here's how it went:
me: ma, I have something to tell you. you better sit down.
mom: I hope it's a boy!! well you know the first born child is always a girl. we'll do green and purple for the baby shower since you hate pink.
me: *blank stare*
mom: ...and you better not give my grand child a ghetto name. I'm gonna send Zay [my younger sister] to live with her father because she's ungrateful and I'll turn her room into a nursery. you can't keep the baby at your apartment because you only have one room. My grand child needs her own room.
me: *eye roll* BEA ARTHUR IS DEAD!!!
mom: what? Bea Art...OMG...AND THEN THERE'S MAUDE! SHE DIED??
Al (step dad): yea?
me: Bea Arthur died.
Al: *dramatically* OH GODDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAUDE'S DEAD! I HAVE TO TELL MY MOTHER! you know she still watches that shit every night!
me: oh really?
Al: yep...was it cancer? I know she smoked.
Al: I bet she was a hard ass in real life just like on the show.
me: yea she...USE A FUCKING SIGNAL AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE FUCKING STOP SIGN YOU WORTHLESS PIECE --
Al: well, you sound busy so I'll let you go. we'll talk later.
me: yea I was trying to cross the street. talk to you later. bye.
My family, ladies and gentlemen.
Anyway, rest in peace Maude!