Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mom is SUCH a follower!

...and when I say follower, I'm not using social networking lingo.

Lately there have been a lot of news stories about people killing themselves and their families over the current economic crisis in America being broke and having a shit load of debt. Guess what? We ALL have financial hardships, but you don't see us decapitating our children!

Here's a recent phone conversation with mom:

me: hello?
mom: hi. Can you come over tomorrow at about 2pm?
me: sure, why?
mom: all these people who are in debt are killing their families, so I think I should do it too because I'm in debt.
me: *blank stare*

***dial tone***

The next day:

mom: hi, do you remember what day I'm supposed to be killing the family?
me: you said today at 2pm
mom: I DID!? shit! I have something to do today. well, it's noon now, so I should be done by 2pm.
me: oh, but you have to come to Baskin Robbins with me today
me: but there's a special today: 31 cents per scoop of ice cream
mom: oh really?
me: yea, but it's only from 5-10pm
mom: hey did you go and get 50 cent iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts yesterday?
me: no, I was rushing to my hair appointment after work
mom: oh, since Quill is my honorary son, he should also come today.
me: he has to get a hair cut
mom: AT 2PM!?
me: no, his hair cut is at 6pm
mom: well, he needs to be here....and what about your sister? did you tell her?
me: no, I assumed you did. she was off today, but she picked up an extra shift
mom: maybe we could just go to her job and do it
me: maybe.
mom: okay, well I'll see you later. make sure you shower and wear clean underwear.
me: okay, bye.

Only my mom would schedule a family slaying, include her honorary son, and remind me to wear clean underwear...y'know, for when I'm at the hospital. how sweet!


Kasey said...

LOL omg Hilarious.

IrvDaRealDeal said...

I am freaking dying over here, lol, that was the funniest sh!t I have heard, your mom is cool beans...she can kill me anytime!