Friday, May 8, 2009
I know that I said today's mom moment would be about her plot to kill the family, but I must blog about the events that took place yesterday.
Me and mom have this Thursday evening ritual of getting food from Chipotle. Yesterday was such a nice day so we decided to eat on her porch, southern style with sweet tea.
I loveeeee mom's sweet tea. It's the epitome of southern life. I decided to twitpic this moment:
We sat on the porch (or stoop, if you will) eating when my mom started asking about "that twitter stuff". I was trying to explain it to her, but it's kinda hard teaching old people new technology. Just last week she called me in hysterics because her computer had a virus:
Mom: I THINK MY COMPUTER HAS VIRUSES!!
Me: yea, I noticed that last night when I was there.
Mom: it keeps saying something about trojans. I guess the virus came from that website. I don't go to no condom websites! it must've been Zay! [my 16 year old sister]
Me: *blank stare*
Me: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Anyway, as I was explaining twitter to her for about an hour, a direct message from one of my followers (that I don't know) came to my phone.
Follower: Is that the corner of ****** and ***** ?
Me: yes, are you watching me? lol
Follower: No, but I live on that corner and I just looked out of my window.
At this point, I was feeling like I was in the movie Scream. I told mom what was going on and she immediately freaked out and started asking questions. She dubbed my followeR (singular) "The Twitterers", so her questions ranged from "Are The Twitterers watching us right now!?" to "Do you think that cop car could be The Twitterers!?!"
Her suspects were:
-cop car with bright headlights
-pizza delivery woman on bike
-her upstairs neighbor
-the guy who parked his car on the corner, got out to smell the roses and then got back in his car
-the group of college students sitting on their porch
-the couple walking their dog who came over to say hi to her dog
Any and everyone who drove/walked by was a suspect. It was so hilarious to see her freak out over this. She called everyone in her phone book to tell them about The Twitterers.
My mom is a paranoid schizophrenic/conspiracy theorist with little to no knowledge about social networking and an obsession with Law & Order-CSI-type shows, so you can image the types of thoughts she had running through her mind. The best part was that she verbalized each thought in a non-whisper (she's one of those people who thinks she's whispering when she's not) while I laughed hysterically. I suppose she forgot that we live in Smalltimore where EVERYONE knows EVERYONE!
For shits and giggles, I kept telling her that The Twitterers told me they were watching us and described what we were wearing and doing.
Tomorrow's mom moment will definitely be about her plot to kill the family.