Friday, July 31, 2009

oh hello....

In my last entry, I whined like a sleepy toddler with a shitty diaper over how Fish & Spaghetti didn't post my Baskin Robbins story and guess what? THEY DID! So read about it >>>HERE<<<

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


So I finally have the urge to blog...actually, I was working on this 584 page blog entry about Michael Jackson's funeral but now my computers are broken!! yes, computerS!
How does one person break 2 computers in a matter of days!?! I hate writing something only to have it go down the shit tube (like my Baskin Robbins entry for FishandSpaghetti) simply because it isn't relevant anymore. By the time my computer is up and running again, it'll be old news. It already IS old news thanks to Chris Brown's half assed, rehearsed apologize to his walking forehead ex girlfriend for banging her up a little bit.

I guess if he can make himself relevant again by apologizing for something he did 6 months ago, maybe Michael Jackson's corpse will re-enact Thriller so I can continue my blog about his funeral in 6 months.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

OK FINE! I like the damn song!

I don't really listen to rap. Nothing seems to catch my ear, and I gave up on it a LONG time ago...some time around March 9, 1997. Most of the stuff that comes out these days is pure garbage and I'll be damned if I become a fan of said garbage simply because everyone else likes it. The band wagon has uncomfortable seats, and I refuse to ride on it.
Anyway, one day I was watching a UStream video by one of my homies and there was a catchy tune in the background that I just couldn't make out. I couldn't ask him about it because the Ustream was like 11 minutes long featuring a bunch of different songs. Since I don't own a radio (it's trash), I wouldn't hear it again.

Back in May, I started hearing a lot of hoopla about this Drake person. yep, you know where this is going. Whenever I asked who he was, I pretty much got the same reaction I get when I tell people I've never seen Forrest Gump. It's a combination of "WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!", the face a guy makes when a woman says she's late (even if she just means late for work), and the ultimate eye brow raise followed by the side eye to the 5th power.

Fast forward 2 months, Drake was in the back of my mind and I was still trying to get this damn tune out of my brain! Morning, noon, my dreams and nightmares I was hearing "baby you mah errthang, you all I eva wanted...we ka' do it real big, bigga than you eva dun it"...only in my mind, I could only hear the beat and the lyrics came out as "dada da da dada, da da dada da, dada da da da da, da da dadadada" *sigh*

Little did I know, people were updating their statuses all over twitter and myspace with the lyrics.

@rellevent21: "Cause she hold me down, every time I hit her up. When I get right I promise that we gonna live it up..."

@DC106: I get out the car.....drake song on....I get in the car....drake song"buzz so big I could probably sell a blank disc"

@Flawless15: Is singing "baby you my everything, you all I ever wanted..." to who???I'm not sure, kinda want to sing it to somebody though! (random urge)

it was right under my fucking nose the entire time and I had NO idea!

So one day, another one of my followers tweeted the following:

@iamtommyoliver: Truthfully: I'm not mad at The Breast I Ever Had video lol

I was bored and curious so I decided to do a youtube search for this breast video.

The minute I played the video, I KNEW it was the song I'd been searching for! I screamed the lyrics! "DADA DA DA DADA, DA DA DADA DA, DADA DA DA DA DA, DA DA DADADADA" (hey don't judge me!)

so then I youtubed the real song and, sure enough, it was the song that I had been obsessing over. I felt so dirty and disgusted with myself for liking this high yellow Herman Munster that everyone was shitting their pants over! GOD NO! Not ME blending in with the *IN* crowd! What's next?

Risky Business sunglasses??

Those God awful sandal boots?? (I mean WHAT THE HELL!? that's a fucking blog entry by itself!)

become an iPhone slave...

or buy a juvenile ass Ed Hardy shirt?

or better yet, I can sport a Che Guevara t-shirt without even knowing who he is like everyone else!

then maybe I'll have a child and think I'm being unique by naming it Neveah! I mean, go hard or go home! If I'm gonna jump on the Drake band wagon, why not just have one big nasty cliché orgy!

So I broke down and illegally downloaded the song bought the song iTunes. I was so ashamed to even have this song on my iPod that I changed the name of it. You know how there's always someone glancing over your shoulder on the bus trying to see what you're listening to??

so yea, I like the song. I still don't see what all the hype is about as far as his looks. My little sister (and every other teenage chick) drools over him! He looks like Herman fucking Munster! Actually, I'd give it up to that rotting corpse before I'd give it up to Drake.

Drake released an official video, but it's nothing but tits bouncing up and down. I have my own tits...and not to toot my own horn, but my tits are more spectacular than anything I saw on that video. if you wanna see the garbage, google it. I took it upon myself to create a better video for Drake:

(unfortunately, Windows Movie Maker put me through some shit this weekend as some of you may have read on twitter so this is the short, unedited video that's not even close to as good as the first one I created, but's still better than Drake's video lol)