Tuesday, November 24, 2009

"This year we're having a stress-free Thanksgiving dinner. I stuffed the turkey with Prozac." -Maxine

[Note: Please spare me the Charlie Brown "meaning of Thanksgiving" bullshit. I know the history behind the holiday. I know what it means. I'm not aiming for political correctness or whatever.]

Today's b Question of the Day:

What is one Thanksgiving staple that you could not live without?

Once upon a time, I was a very traditional, family oriented girl.................

....and then things changed. Some people NEED a turkey, football, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, the fight over the wishbone, sweet potato pie, or Uncle Jerome's rendition of Luther Vandross's Never Too Much (after having a little TOO MUCH of whatever he had in his flask) to make their Thanksgiving complete. I used to need those things, but once they were all taken away from me, I learned to accept their absence...if *this* is what you'd call acceptance.

Initially, I wanted to blog about my awesomely dysfunctional and cherished Thanksgiving experiences during my childhood, but rehashing those memories will only make me nostalgic and sad.

Then I was gonna blog about the Thanksgiving curse. Every year during Thanksgiving, something horrible happens that leaves me a little more damaged (ask me why I don't allow peach cobbler in my presence), bitter, and anti-Thanksgiving. I know I'm feeding the beast by calling it a Thanksgiving curse, and that going into the holidays with a such a negative attitude will only bring about negativity, but it's my way of preparing myself for the inevitable. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not depressed or trying to slit my wrists with a plastic knife. I've been blessed with a wicked sense of humor that allows me to joke about the horror that is Thanksgiving. As much as I'd like to type out the long list of events that took place to create the Thanksgiving curse, I'll save those stories for the therapist my children will have to see after wondering why all the kids in their class get to eat turkey while mommy drags them out of the country during Thanksgiving to eat pizza in a hotel room while she's at the bar searching for her childhood at the bottom of a colossal martini glass.

Don't judge me! I'll make sure my kids have SOMETHING Thanksgiving related...


NightFall914 said...

Roast Turkey Pringles............Fail.

The Lioness said...

Ok- this may be a very ignorant question but are they really selling those?

But back to the QotD- I can't go without dressing- point blank period and my mom makes it with a gizzard gravy- have mercy!

Nikks said...

Um wow those pringles are soooo wrong on soooo many levels. Never seen that anywhere EVA! *Snicker*

Um we already had Thanksgiving here in Canada and I was very pissed off, my daddy ruined the stuffing. I give thanks for the stuffing every year. This man went and tried to be fancy, for what reason I don't know. The jerk turkey was good, but I wanted to carve my dad when I tasted the stuffing...EPIC FAIL! I didn't talk to him the whole day! I am that petty, don't judge ME!

Goddess Intellect said...

my aunty's oxtail & stuffing...*drool*

Frankie Nichelle said...

@Nikks LMAO! carving dad over the stuffing! I could see the news headline now. I think you guys need a thanksgiving do-over so you can get your goods.

@Goddess oooohhh I was craving caribbean food like crazy for thanksgiving. got to my aunts house and she wasnt home. I ended up at my 2nd cousin's half brother's house just to get my oxtails and rice and peas. I didn't even know him SMH

@the lioness ooohhh gizzard gravy sounds good! I don't think those pringles exist lol