Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Remember my stalker?? If you don't, please refresh your memory by reading about him.

I was already in a pissy mood this morning because I woke up at 2am and STILL managed to leave out late for work...even though I didn't have to leave til 7:30am. I walked to the bus stop and it was shut down because of the ENDLESS construction downtown.

SIDE BAR: What the fuck are they "constructing"? Every time I turn around, there's a detour because the roads are blocked off. There are more traffic cones and drums than rats downtown (and that's A LOT). Meanwhile, NOTHING is being fixed and this city still looks like shit. What are you attempting to fix it up for? Nobody comes to Baltimore!

I had to walk three blocks to the next bus stop. I got on the bus and was standing (which is always annoying because it's kinda hard to text, adjust your music and balance yourself while the bus is going uphill and making sharp turns). After a few blocks, two seats freed up. I had to choose between the guy with his head down (obviously sleeping which meant he'd probably end up with his head on my shoulder or left tit) or the guy whose ass took up half of the spare seat next to him. I opted for the sleeping guy. Before I could even inhale, I got a whiff of his breath and he opened his eyes and said "WELL HELLO STRANGER!"

Note to self: make an appointment to have your fucked up ass vision checked so you'll notice stalkers a mile away!

If I had ANY idea it was him, I would've gotten off of the bus before he even noticed me. Our conversation went like this:
(he was loud and excited, I was expressionless and dry)

Him: You're always ignoring me when I'm trying to get your attention.
Me: I always wear earphones so I don't notice.
Him: I saw you on campus the other d--
Me: I was wearing earphones.
Him: oh.


Him: I had to work at your campus the other day filling in as a teacher for a friend.
Me: *silence*

Him: *tapping me* I had to work at your campus the other --
Me: huh? what? *adjusts volume on earphones* what?
Him: oh, I was just saying I had to work at your campus the other day filling in as a teacher for a friend.
Me: oh *turns volume up louder*
Me: *turns music OFF* what?
Him: you said, working on the campus is something else.
Me: *trying to remember when the fuck I said that* uh huh
Him: so how have you been?
Me: good.
Him: how's work?
Me: can't complain.
Him: all the talk on campus is about the new president.
Me: I guess...
Him: so whatchu think of him?
Me: I haven't heard much.

***SILENCE*** I attempted to put my music back on.....BUT NOOOOOOO!

Him: You got a long day ahead of you.
Me: um not really.
Him: I'm working a 20 hour shift.
Me: wow.
Him: yep...we got some crazy people in there yesterday.
Me: mmk.
Him: one lady was so drunk...blah blah blah... *insert corny joke about lighting a match near her breath*
Me: oh.
Him: blah blah blah... she had a blood alcohol level of blah blah blah...
Me: hmm... wow.
Him: and she kept asking us if she could leave on her broomstick. she was attacking the guards with the broomstick. blah blah blah full moon.
Me: crazy.
Him: blah blah blah drug test....blah blah cocaine.
Me: really.
Him: blah blah blah other guy said... blah blah last Thursday blah blah blah shoes in the closet...blah
Me: jeez.

The entire time I was avoiding eye contact while staring into space praying that when I looked out the window, I would be really close to my stop to get off. He just kept talking and spewing that disgusting skid mark breath of his. I was trying to hold my breath so I wouldn't inhale the pollution of his breath. I looked up and the bus had only moved like 3 blocks. I contemplated getting off early and taking a cab, walking or waiting for the next bus. The problem was that he knew which stop I was supposed to get off at.

He felt the need to remind me of his position at his job and mention something about being a supervisor. WHO GIVES A FUCK?! That shit will NEVER impress me. Why don't you use your big pay check to buy a giant turbo toothbrush and a gallon of bleach-infused Listerine and let them swing dance in your shitty mouth!

This lasted the entire bus ride...even through the 20 minutes we sat in traffic thanks to a car accident. Truth be told, I would have rather been in the accident...and you people know I have a car phobia.

FINALLY as I was leaving the bus, he tried to rub my arm and tell me that I'm always dismissing him. YEA FOOL, GET A FUCKING CLUE!


NightFall914 said...

Oh wow that's crazy!!!!!

Djwhizkid said...

ughhhh. Luckily I've yet to run into a woman that had this problem...unless she smoked....

khaki said...

LMAO- that conversation wouldve ended as soon it started. "scuse me sir I really dont want to talk to you this morning"

PS. that construction is a bitch; especially near Spinnaker Bay on President St *sigh*

Frankie Nichelle said...

@djwhizkid - lucky indeed

@khaki - LMAO I try to be considerate of other people's feelings but his breath is NOT considerate of mine soooo.....
and YES this construction shit is getting old

Goddess Intellect said...

I like how he was in 100% denial about you ignoring him....and i also like how he thought you would be impressed by his job title...this had me raoaring with laughter all through.

Epiphany said...

LLS WOOOOOW!!! i can't stand dudes like that. annoying much? lol