Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Bigggggg shout out to my homie Reese for giving me this TMI award (nearly a month ago). It's my very first blog award EVER, and I think I'm deserving of it after my previous post. Don't you agree?? Personally, too much information is never enough for me. I'm a supporter of non-censorship, and obviously you people love it too or you wouldn't be reading.....
TMI BLOG AWARD RULES:
-post the award on your blog
-list 8 things a voyeur / peeping tom could potentially catch you doing if they were watching you
WOW! This is funny because, while I like to broadcast my thoughts/actions with words, I kinda sorta don't want someone to SEE the things I do on a daily basis...which is why I'm a TEXThibitionist and not an EXHIBITIONIST lol
1. I live alone, and I was a repressed nudest for 24 yrs while living with others. For this reason, I RARELY wear clothes in my apartment so a peeping Tom (and everyone driving down Franklin Avenue in downtown Baltimore...cuz I tend to leave my blinds open by mistake) would definitely see some nakedness. The minute I walk into my door, I strip down to nothing but my granny panties. Don't judge me!
2. For those who don't know, I love salsa. I listen to it like 70% of the day so I'm always dancing and singing around my apartment. I wish I was a music director. I have this DVD of Marc Anthony's HBO concert at Madison Square Garden many years ago.
I've seen it more times than you've showered in your lifetime. I know it word for word and I act out this concert. I stand in front of the tv mimicking his every move.
3. If my peeping Tom was a night-owl, he would most certainly catch a glimpse of me cooking and cleaning in the wee hours of the night....3am mopping the floors, washing dishes, baking cupcakes, sorting laundry, and my all time favorite: scrubbing the bathtub. I just can't focus on cleaning during normal hours of the day. I get very domestic in the middle of the night.
4. If we're gonna go there, let's go there with the TMI, I'm a chronic masturbator. I have to do it AT LEAST three times a day or I'll lose my mind. I'm easily aroused and I'm pretty much conditioned to fall asleep while rubbing the genie lamp. In order to get my morning burst of energy, I have to search the clam for the pearl before getting out of bed. This is how I function.
5. I laugh at everything, but in public I have to suppress the obnoxious sound of my laughter. When I'm at home, I can laugh hysterically the way I really want to. Some day I'll record my uncensored laugh for you all. It's a cross between a witch's cackle, a giggling baby, an old man, and a dog whistle...with a snort in between.
6. In public, I have to eat like a lady. It's a big pain in the ass. I never bite into anything with a bone. I usually try my best to eat bone-free meals when I'm around other people and when I can't avoid it, I pick the meat off with my fingers. It's bad enough being a fat chick without being a fat chick who eats in a sloppy manner...........BUT WHEN I'M AT HOME, ALL BETS ARE OFF!! I eat with my hands....corn, rice, mashed potatoes...whatever! I don't even own forks. My peeping Tom would see me with bbq sauce on my face and neck! I lick my fingers. Hell, I've even gotten food in my hair! You can't really enjoy your food until you've had that kinda messy, passionate intimacy with it.
7. Cat abuse. I hate my cats....A LOT! I've given them pop rocks, liquor and they're no strangers to getting one of my size 11 (yes, 11) shoes thrown upside their heads for meowing too aggressively. If my peeping tom is a member of PETA, ohhhh boyyyyyy!
I'm kidding. I kinda sorta like them, but they don't like me and we sometimes don't see eye to eye. I've been trying to catch Necessity (the boy cat) for a few days now. I'm putting him up for adoption after humping the female cat and ruining my couches.
The other day, my peeping Tom would've seen me building a fort/trap including boxes and a cage. I had the couches flipped over, the air conditioning on blast (chasing him made me sweat out my weave), broom in my hand....things got VERY ugly and I still didn't catch him!
8. I aimlessly daydream. It's bad! I stare off into space for what seems like 2-3 minutes and when I look up at the time, 2-3 HOURS have gone by! I think my peeping Tom would probably rush to my side to make sure I'm not suffering from a stroke because I completely daze out for hours!
So those are my little behind-closed-doors habits!
-award up to 8 bloggers who match the criteria of this award.
WOW ummmm I haven't read too much TMI stuff lately, but then again, I haven't been frequenting many blogs as much as I should. I promise to do better guys! In the mean time, why don't you all tell me something a peeping Tom might catch you doing?
Posted by Frankie at 5:34 PM