Cranky Frankie: Tell 'Em Why You Mad, Son!

I feel like I'm being punished for eating anything that isn't a salad with a glass of water on the side....and I'm not talking about the punishment of getting on the scale every morning and not being happy with the results due to my eating habits. I'm talking about the ITIS!!!!! I just don't understand why it exists and why there's no cure for it. Sometimes I avoid food when I know I can't marinate in the itis. Sometimes I'm so hungry that I'm thinking to myself "ok I have a lot of energy right now. I got some good sleep last night. The sun is shining. I can eat this chicken bacon ranch sub from Subway be and okay. I can beat the itis today"

....then BAM, I get slapped in the face by a food coma.




The other day, it was so bad that I was googling cures for the itis. The internet has everything else from whether or not a lady bug can kill you to the movie script from Mannequin so maybe they'd have a cure. I stumbled upon THIS website and thought "WOW there's REALLY a cure to my suffering!" I was seriously about to go out and buy some aspirin and Robitussin!
Unforunately, there was a little note at the bottom that said: This article is satire, brought to you by the creative minds at The Peoples News. It’s not real, but we hope it made you think.
No, you didn't make me think. You further pissed me off. What if I OD'd on that shit?!